Never smile at an....

Lights, theatre, action! No, I’ve not been on the stage myself, certainly in the theatre though, you see  I’ve been back under.  I’ve been back under and it didn’t go so well. Despite the attestations, the protestations, the affitmations, it hasn’t gone well at all. The operation, sorry proceduralists, pro-cee-dure, was intended to be a one shot shop, a cure all in a final call theatre session where they brought my base stimulator device up to maximum capacity by implanting an additional three electrodes. That troublesome area would be shot right in its, ahem foot, before it was even able to send out any more of those nasty pain emissaries ( I imagine the signals being carried by miniature giants in my body, riding on great woolly mammoths - like in that amazing battle scene at the Wall in GoT).

There was one in particular that I was hankering for, just one electrode that would correspond with the ol’ nerves along my ribs at T3.   I was certainly encouraging  the other two as well, one electrode to cover the top region at T1, and another to try and attack the dastardly pain from the right hand side. Things did not go to plan.  I AWOKE ON THE OPERATING TABLE! I awoke on the operating table while they were still stitching my incisions, needless to say I am not a fan of the anaesthetist, who tried to laugh the matter away, and then proceeded to prescribe analgesia without any regard for my history.  Instead of waking groggily in the recovery room sometime after the procedure, I left the theatre sobbing with pain, and the trauma of the very event.

Later that day, my programmer came to visit me in my room, in disbelief of the negligence of the anaethetist. Ahh, it wasn’t just in my head.  She also dropped into conversation they’d been unable to place the last electrode, the lower one, at T3.  Apparently the operation had gone overtime, and they couldn’t keep me on the table any longer as I was moving around.. hhhmm , perhaps because I wasn’t ANAESTHETISED?  I’m so crushed, I have no words, oh except those.